Monday, December 24, 2007

~Dave n Maya~-



A traditional Malay Wedding, before it becomes a reality,it must begin with the following two delightful preliminaries, namely: -
1. THE MERISIK ("SPYING")
.....actually means spying (but in this context, it's not the James Bond type though). It means to learn more of something through informal enquiries, and in this particular case, of the feelings of the intended spouse and her parents. it also ensure that the "adat" or custom in the girl’s locality must be respected and followed carefully to avoid untoward problems. So this is the part that we as amateur in these field made our homework the best we could, far from our homeland and from close relatives.....
Merisik is carried out by the young man’s parents or relatives to informally enquire on the girl’s agreement to the intended marriage and more importantly, to seek the consent of the girl’s parents.

So my hubby's say....."We’ve come today with a wish and hope – to build the steps of a mosque (p.s.: meaning to do something good). We know that there is a beautiful flower in this house and that we desire to pluck her for our bee at home. He has made known his desire and interest in the flower, and it is our hope that this wish would be fulfilled.".....isn't that sweet!
Followed by :-
aahhh so we go on...
2. THE PERTUNANGAN (ENGAGEMENT OR BETROTHAL) CEREMONY







The Pertunangan (betrothal) or Malay traditional engagement ceremony actually crystallizes the verbal agreement made during the previous Merisik proses. On the appointed date and time, a delegation from the groom led by his close family members and relatives will arrive at the bride’s home., bringging with them either seven or nine items of gifts(they are usually in odd numbers), carried in a decorated tray or dulang, and includes the most important item -- the engagement ring.......













When everyone has been seated on the floor of the house in a sort of a circle, with the hantaran items in the middle, then the session starts with preliminary speeches of welcome and introductions – of course in a jovial and friendly manner. With both sides alternately addressing each other about the coming union, reference is frequently made on the agreements reached during the Merisik session previously, but mainly to restate and reaffirm what were agreed then. Having accepted and agreed on the engagement or betrothal of the two young couple by the two families, then the next important step -- the Wedding Day -- will be discussed by the families.







The highlight of this traditional engagenment ceremony will be the putting of the
engagement ring on the fiance’s finger by the future mother-in law, or, if the groom’s mother is deceased or unable to make the trip, his sister or nearest auntie....that would be me!





...followed by other female members, will enter the girl’s gaily decorated room, where she had been waiting apprehensively all the time, and with the ring put on the finger of her future daughter-in law, hugs and kisses her cheeks. Likewise the girl will kiss the woman’s hands and hug her tightly.

The ceremony ends by the feasting of the guests with specially cooked food but the young man(groom-to-be) is not to attend the ceremony. He would be at home or away somewhere (perhaps fervently praying that the engagement would be accepted by the bride’s family). hehehe




Finally before the man’s delegation leaves for home, the exchange of hantaran items will be carried out. As it is the normal Malay custom, the girl’s family will add an additional two trays of items in the exchange. For instance, if the man’s side brought seven trays, then nine trays of items will be handed over by the girl’s side. And everybody will leave happy and contented in the knowledge that there will be a union
of families and they will all be looking forward to the Big Day~THE WEDDING~




5 comments:

  1. umi tuh hantaran tuk sape..??
    tuk harney buat nubhan eh...
    wakaka....

    ReplyDelete
  2. amboi harney!!
    toley tahan...
    tetap dgn Nubhan kan...
    huhuuhu...

    ye lah umi...
    hantaran dari siapa nie..
    buat suspen jerk...
    ada org dtg meminang shima ke...
    alamak!!!
    melepaslah den...
    kui kui kui...

    ReplyDelete
  3. heppp heppppp...ambooooooooooi
    abis camno ngan afifah tu dekmie??
    curang ek? curanggggg?????

    larikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    ReplyDelete
  4. (o_o)....terpegun den dgn statement2 korang...wakakaka!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. umi...
    don't terpegun-terpegun...
    it's true...
    amboi terlebey suda...
    ahaks..

    ReplyDelete

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